Tuesday, April 14, 2009

An Evolution... of Sorts.

It has been a long time since I have blogged here. I haven't done a lot of running. I am still plagued with a sore right heel - plantars faciitis. It has prevented me from starting a new training plan. I've run only occasionally with a friend. A day here. A day there. A few miles. A few more.

Mostly, I have been swimming. Not any more than usual - generally just 2 days a week - though I am feeling as though I have made some huge improvements in my stroke. I have also learned how to do a flip turn (free and back) and though I don't always execute the turn properly, I know, at least, what I should have done.

It must be pretty amusing to watch my progression poolside. There have been numerous occasions when I got so disoriented that I discovered myself on the bottom of the pool! Last week, I was swimming in lane 3 (I normally swim in 2) and was making an effort to practice a flip turn at every wall. When practice was over, Scott (a swim mate in Lane 2) asked if I had lost my necklace. He could not figure out what I was doing submerged at the bottom so frequently. We had a good chuckle over that!

I've also become a little self-conscious. I started this blog as a means of documenting my training... a record of how I felt after particular workouts, etc. In reading the blogs of other runners and triathletes, I learned tips for hydration, overcoming injuries and racing. It has been a joy to read of the personal victories of others. To share in their enthusiasm. As the years progressed, the bloggers I have followed and those that follow me have become an extended family. We share a common passion.

I've come to learn, however, that people outside of my extended 'running/training' family - those that may know me in real life - look upon my blog as a means of self proselytizing. About a year ago, I received a rather snotty comment that prompted me to no longer allow anonymous comments. I don't recall the exact wording but essentially it stated that I should spend more time on my family... that I was essentially selfish.

I know I shouldn't let what others think bother me - but despite this - it hurt. At the time, I had my suspicions about who left the comment. I had a strong feeling, though I couldn't prove it, that the anonymous comment was left by a woman who called herself my friend. I suppose it doesn't really matter, but a few weeks ago, in a conversation with a mutual friend, my earlier suspicions were confirmed.

On a few other occasions, friends have made reference to my blogs, training, homeschooling endeavors, etc. to the point where I have felt uncomfortable. I'm still struggling with how to respond to these comments but all the while, I have pulled away from blogging. Then today, I discover that another runner/blogger that I've come to know has announced her retirement from blogging. When I read this, I immediately considered doing the same.

The more I contemplated it, however, I realized that I am not ready to do that. I enjoy the comraderie of sharing. I don't know many people personally that share my passion for running. Where else can I ramble on about my races to an audience that is truly interested in my fuel intake? What flavor gels I prefer? How I felt after my tempo run?

I need this forum. I need each of you.


OSN: 600m warm-up, 200m kicking w/fins, 8 x 25m back drill, 350m free, 250m free, 200m free , 100m free, and 100m back easy cool-down. Block start drill. 2000m total

3 comments:

  1. Blogging's like everything else - it is what you make it. It can totally consume your time, or it can be a nice outlet you turn to from time to time. Just figure out what works for you, and don't worry about what other folks think of it. People will always find things to criticize.

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  2. Ultimately, like I said, this is about you. What do you want? What do you need? How does this keep you balanced? It's OK for other people to not understand. That's a burden they will just have to bear.

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  3. Girl, I need you too!!

    I don't know what I would do if you and my other blogosphere friends left.

    But the ironic thing is, I just posted on FB that I was thinking of retiring the blog. I have hit perpetual writer's block. I have lost the time I used to spend in front of the laptop. I just don't know what to do. I'm left in a quandry.

    So I hope you don't leave. I love reading about your training.

    Me? Guess we'll see what the future holds.

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