Thursday, April 17, 2008

Feeling Lonely

I'm a little bummed this week. The Rumble was this past Sunday and though I really, really wanted to be there to meet Michelle and a few local running celebrities (Rod, Sean, and Kami) I've come to admire from a distance, I couldn't.

I chose not to participate because I haven't got a lot of trail mileage and in 2006 when I ran 3 of the 4 trail races that compose the Dirt Series, I fell every time. The last fall (during the Dirty Dozen in Sept '06) nearly cost me the opportunity to finish the Portland Marathon. In 2007, while on a trail run prior to the Eugene Marathon, I fell and broke my wrist. I'm thereby nervous about trail races. I could have gone to cheer on those that were running but I needed to get my own long run in and I had the kids with me. I had to make a choice.

Now I'm reading their race reports... reading the articles in the paper... feeling bummed that I missed out on a great race and an opportunity to meet others who share my passion. I really wish I had a partner that could train with me. I want to join CORK and enjoy the comraderie of running with others but several obstacles make it difficult. DH works long hours and many late nights making childcare a little tricky. When he is home, I prefer to spend time with him as a family and feel guilty when I go off to run alone. The jogging stroller doesn't fold easily to transport to group runs... and I fear that the other runners might not particularly enjoy their presence. Additionally, frequently the trails aren't wide enough for a double-wide jogger. Thus, I am forced to go it alone on the road.

I'm sorry. I'm just feeling a little lonely and needed to share my thoughts.

ORN: Wed 6.23 miles @ 57:37 Avg Pace 9:15


  1. You didn't quit riding your bike when you fell off as a kid, did ya? Get back out on those trails, girl!!

    We have a saying here... If momma ain't happy, nobody's happy :-) You can be a teeny bit selfish and make sure you get some of the things that are important to you, ya know, but it has to be a good thing for everybody.

    More opporunities will come your way!

  2. Cheer up.. you'll have many more chances to meet them and the rest of us.

  3. You guys ROCK! And you are right, Wes... I just need to get back on those trails! Thank you for being there. :D

  4. (((HUGS)) I know exactly what you mean :-) But Wes is right, you'll feel better once you get out there, even if it is alone.

  5. Its too late too cry over whats passed. Just use it as your inspiration to pick yourself up and get out there and do it. I know what you mean about having people to train with. I find my training goes so much faster when I have someone to train with

  6. It's a difficult decision to choose not to participate in something you enjoy. I think you should give it another try next time! :)

  7. Hey - I like the new header thing you've got here! Nice look.

    It's a total bummer to miss a race, but the nice thing is that they always come along another time. For me, the problem is wanting to do too many, and not having the time for all of them. You'll get back on the horse.

    To answer your board game question - my kiddos are little, so their favorites are still things like Sorry or Chutes and Ladders. My 9-year-old and I play chess a lot, and my 6-year old is learning, too. They also like a lot of card games.

  8. Around here, we call what you have a bad case of FOMO - fear of missing out. I know it well, because I get it whenever I miss a race my buddies are going to.

    When our kids were young, I only raced once a year, at our local 12K. All the things you mention - time with husband and family, the difficulties involved in either taking or leaving young children, those were my realities too. Not just mine, but Eric's - he did more races, but not as many as he would have liked. Now that the boys are grown, we are making up for lost time. So hang in there, your time will come.

    As for falling on the trails, I stumbled once and windmilled a bit before catching myself. Whew! I am slow and cautious, so I haven't fallen on the trails yet. I have fallen on the roads though. That's just because I'm a klutz.

    We'll get to meet sometime - maybe at Portland. No worries.

  9. I have nothing really to add except that I'm sure another chance will come by that will be even more extraordinary than what's in the past. ((hugs))


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